I ran

4 miles.  It was 86 degrees with the humidity upwards of 90% and still I ran.  

I ran to escape the stress that threatened to overwhelm me today.  Trying to juggle work and school, researching PA school admission criteria, and an unexpected email that threw me for a loop all contributed to that feeling of drowning.  I ran it off.  I ran with the sun punishing me with it's heat.  My feet beating the ground methodically.  My running playlist proving once again its schizophrenic nature.  

Sweat rolls down my forehead, into my eyes and it burns.  I deserve the sting.  I need it.  Just like I need the muscle fatigue that comes from pushing myself to go that extra mile farther than usual.

When I finish I look in the mirror and my face is mottled.  I have splotches of read across my forehead, nose and cheeks, with white splotches around my eyes and mouth. I can see my bulging blood vessels pulsing under my skin.  There is sweat pooling in the little indentation between my collarbones.  I take a deep breath and realize that I feel better.  The exertion has done its job.

I love the way sweat feels as it dries on my skin.  The crisp salty crust that feels tacky just before it dries completely.  I love washing it off even more.  I tuck my hair up under my shower cap and step into the shower.  I love the way the water mixes with the sweat, leaving trails of greasy streaks down my chest and back until I lather up.  

When I am done I pull the cap off my head.  I love the sweaty smell that lingers on my hair. That smell of sunshine and exertion that reminds me of all the nature I was lucky enough to enjoy on my run.  I got to watch cattle egrets hunting for dinner in the still damp grass after today's earlier rains.  I witnessed a gopher tortoise peak out from its burrow.  I was startled by a giant green land crab crossing the street and a smaller blue and orange one waved its claw at me as I ran by.  I got to see the rays of sunshine blasting from behind the storm clouds, streaking the sky with beautiful pinks and yellows.

Those 40 minutes of my day were priceless.  Almost as vital to my survival as breathing is.  If you had asked me 5 years ago whether exercise was necessary for mental health I would have laughed at you.

I know better, now.