Wonder Years -- Yet another digression from the hippie world

I spoke to one of my childhood best friends on the phone last night and it got me thinking about how much has changed.



Brad and I have known each other for 24 years.  We met because our parents had neighboring lakeside summer cottages in NJ.  Over the years, we had our ups and downs.  At certain points we didn't talk, others times it felt like it was us against the world.  We were never really a daily part of each others lives but as kids you hardly notice the gaps in time.  As adults we have ended up on pretty much opposite ends of the spectrum--both geographically and philosophically.  He lives in Indiana and is considerably more conventional/conservative in mindset then I am. 

I never would have guessed we'd be so fundamentally different.  I never stopped to think about it as a kid.  It never dawned on me to consider the possibility that, as adults, we'd have nothing in common besides our history.  How could I have predicted that our goals and priorities in life would turn out to be so different?

It makes me sad sometimes, to think about how far away we've become from what we were.  It's a hard transition to make, from childhood best friend to hypothetical adult best friend.  I still consider him to be one of my best friends.  But in reality we rarely communicate.  We are lucky if we get to see each other once a year.  It never seems to be enough of a priority.  Life always seems to get in the way. 

I'm usually the guilty party when it comes to keeping in touch.  He is invariably the one who makes the call.  I'm always happy to hear from him but it's such a bittersweet experience.  On one hand, it makes me realize how much I miss him.  On the other, it makes me sad to realize that the "him" I miss has grown into a very successful and responsible man who is almost a complete stranger to me.  We hardly know the most important people in each others lives.  He has barely met Adam.  His fiancee and I have only met a couple times in passing.  No effort has been made by either of us to include our significant others in our friendship.

He and I have never had this conversation.  I wonder if he feels the same way about me.  Am I an alien compared to who he thought I was as a kid?  Does he feel the same happy/sadness that I do when we talk?  Probably not.  Men are such simple emotional beings.  It probably doesn't cross his mind to consider me as anything more then his childhood best friend.  That's certainly something about him that hasn't changed.  His uncanny ability to see the world in black and white.  It always has and probably always will make me want to strangle him. 

Regardless of where we've been, or where we are, or where we're going we will always have each other.  And for that alone, he is one of the best gifts I've ever had fall into my lap.  Got to be thankful to the universe for that!